36 Following

Stephanie's books and other things

I like books. I like art. I have opinions.....you've been warned.

Currently reading

A Clash of Kings
George R.R. Martin
The Rich and the Rest of Us: A Poverty Manifesto
Tavis Smiley, Cornel West
The Wind Through the Keyhole (The Dark Tower, #4.5)
Stephen King, Jae Lee
Master Strokes: Watercolor: A Step-By-Step Guide to Using the Techniques of the Masters
Hazel Harrison
The Mad Art of Caricature!: A Serious Guide to Drawing Funny Faces
Tom Richmond (Illustrator)
Voyager - Diana Gabaldon Just finished the third tale of Jamie and Claire in Voyager, I must admit it was my favorite so far.

……………Spoilers…………………………………..can’t write these and not have them………………………

Awe damn, not again. “Hello Claire, nice to see you yet again.”

“Stephanie? How did you end up here? I don’t see that strange vehicle you usually use to time travel.”

“I had to return the time mower. The owner was not amused by my ‘borrowing’ it. He mumbled something about a restraining order, hooligans and red heads; I must have mentioned Jamie and his kilt. Anyway, pretty sure the corn liquor has finally done some permanent damage. I have no idea how I ended up here, where ever and when ever here is. Fill me in Claire?”

“Well, we’re in Scotland in 1700’s, I came back to find the love of my life and baby daddy to my daughter Brianna. I found out through records that he survived a super bad battle I was sure he was killed in. We determined that time runs parallel by 200 years, give or take, so we both aged at the same rate which was handy.”

“How did you get back? Did you use the stones again Claire? I went to check them out right before I landed here. How do they work?”

“As far as I can figure, you have to focus on a certain person, place and time period, walk through the stones and WOOSH, with a little blacking out and vomiting you are when you want to be. You can even break the 200 year rule by doing that.”

“Are you sure the blacking out and vomiting aren’t from your excessive drinking you mentioned during our last visit? (Glug, glug, glug.) So, I must have gone through the stones when I was reading the third book about you and Jamie. I was focused on you, walked through the stones and here I am, feeling fine.”

“Wait, there’s a book out there about us? Weird.”

“I know, right? It was at the part where you were back in 1950ishes and you had your other husband help ‘relieve’ you of an overly heavy-with-milk breast in a way I found uncomfortable. You really didn’t do that………did you?”

“Yes I did Stephanie, it was so hot!”

“Claire! My god women that was for the baby!!”

“Oh Brianna had plenty.”

“Ewwww. Moving on, so what are you two up to this go around? I lost my book when I came across time.”

“Would you prefer the long version or the short? I’ve got all the time in the world.”

“Ha ha, very funny Claire, nice little time traveler joke, just the condensed version please.”

“Okay then. I go back and find Jamie. Lots of sex. I bring penicillin and photos with me. We live in a brothel for a while. Lots of sex. Jamie has a pet Chinese man who has a thing for women’s feet and creeps everyone out. Jamie is both a printer and a smuggler and his print shop is burned down. Lots of sex. Jamie’s nephew is kid napped and we get on a ship and go to the East Indies to look for him. Lots of sex. We run into people Jamie has met before, which is odd since we are way the fuck in the East Indies. Lots of sex. There are escaped slaves everywhere who practice voodoo. Lots of sex? They turn people into zombies whilst wearing crocodile heads on their heads…………”

“STOP! Just stop it Claire, I really can’t absorb this. Bringing photos and penicillin back to the 1700s? I’m sure that’s going to be fine (insert sarcasm here.) And the rest of it? Damn women you have a strange existence, time for me to leave.”
“Crap Claire! Please, for love of god and all that is holy help me get out of here.”

“Sure thing Stephanie…..first drink this bottle of brandy…..”

This book was fun. Crazy fun.